Well, we got some difficult news today. They found that Liam's vocal cords have been damaged during the surgery, which is affecting the way he is eating. We were aware that this was a possibility, and even a very likely risk of heart surgery, but it was still hard to grasp. Liam's cry has been weak and hoarse according to the doctors and he is still having trouble feeding, so they ordered that he be checked to see if his vocal cords were damaged in order to make sure he is not aspirating milk into his lungs when he feeds. The ENT specialist did a fiber-optic laryngoscopy on him today that showed his right vocal chord was not moving at all. The ENT is not sure the extent of the nerve damage, whether it is completely severed, bruised or just temporarily paralyzed, and only time will tell how serious the damage is. The neo-natologist ordered a barium swallow test for tomorrow that will show us if Liam is indeed aspirating because of his vocal cord damage or not. If he is aspirating, they will begin using a thickener in his milk to help keep it going down the right tube. The test will also show us how much thickener is needed. Meanwhile, Liam has to be fed all his feedings through the feeding tube until the test tomorrow.
I think it is finally sinking in with me today that our life will be changed forever. Not in a bad way, just entirely different than anything we have ever experienced. I grieved today...I think it helped me to really let all my feelings spill out to God and know that it's going to be OK no matter what, the Lord WILL take care of it for us - He has to and I know my Lord is faithful. Liam is still our precious little boy and how much more thankful I am for all the normal things he CAN do and how he is healing from the surgery.
Dustin and I are both in agreement today that we are willing to accept the road the Lord takes us on in this journey and to surrender to it. It's hard, becuase our babies life and well-being are in the hands of doctors, nurses and surgeons and like today, it can be frustrating at times when you feel like you have no control. But God is in control and our focus right now is to just get Liam home, healthy and thriving.
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