1.10.09 - Fun times...

I am at Mimi and Grandpa's house right now. My dad has been out of town since last Wednesday, which meant I got to spend all week with Liam. It was a lot of fun, but I'm exhausted! He's a lot of work! LOL. It was really great getting to spend a good chunk of time with him, other than weekends and after work. He has really grown up so much and is maturing everyday.

Speaking of, Liam loves watching TV now. My little discovery during our days together last week. I know, I'll probably get flack for it, but I let him watch just a little bit here and there. I first noticed he was watching it Wednesday morning while I had the news on. He stared at the tv while I was feeding him for a good 10 minutes or so. So I decided to test that to see if he was really watching tv or if it was just a fluke. So, I put him in his bouncy seat and turned on PBS. Just so happened Clifford was on. I was thinking a big red dog should get his attention (and hopefully keep it for 15 minutes or so so I can pack things up ready to go to Medical City for his GI test). Liam sat quietly watching Clifford the entire episode. It was heaven...So TV's not so bad after all...right? Honestly, we didn't watch too much TV. Only an occasional PBS clip or two and maybe some football - He had to see his Cowboys win ya know.

I am amazed at how he is progressing. He continues to gain weight, at over 13 lbs now, is sitting up more and supporting his own head, and just discovered his hands! He is really doing great.

We scheduled his tube surgery for Monday, January 18th at Medical City, so a week from tomorrow. He has a cardiologist appointment this Wednesday so they can check him out beforehand. He is expected to be in the hospital a couple days, but hopefully not in the ICU this time. It will be strange having him in the hospital again. I wonder if we will have any nurses that we know...I think this time I will stay the night with him. I just can't see leaving him there by himself this time around.

The other night I got overwhelmed again (I am really trying hard not to read support forums on feeding tube issues...they are really depressing sometimes...but it's hard not to). Are we making the right decision? Are we doing everything we can to help him to be able to eat from his mouth again? I know sometimes I feel like this surgery is the easy way out, like we should be working harder to keep him from having to go through things like this...It is a strange feeling...that feeling of responsibility. Like somehow we are the reason he is suffering or the reason he needs to have a tube put in. I think any parent feels this way at some point when their child is not developing normally...but it's hard to deal with sometimes. The Lord reminded me (I am so thankful He reminds us!!) again that He is sovereign...whether it be over our feelings of inadequecy or over physical measures that have to be taken, He is in control whether or not we believe Him or aknowledge Him. He has prepared this path for us and will shine His light on it too....Will I follow Him and trust Him to lead me? I pray that I can...each and everyday.