Joy. I think it's found it's way back. It's often missing, I think, from a heart mom's life. Stolen, rather, by the tears we shed for our children. Sometimes I don't even realize it's gone....when my eyes are filled with tears for so long, I am unable to find it, because I cannot see. But God is good, he dried my tears when I finally let Him, so He could show me that He never left my side and HE is my JOY.
Today has been a good day. Liam's new sedation is working, so he is a sleeping angel right now. Granted, we have had a few moments of flailing around and trying to scrunch his way out of bed, all in all it's been a restful day for him. And the numbers are doing wonderfully. They have been weaning him down on the oxygen percent the vent gives him - They've got him down from 55 to 35 today and his numbers are staying up. I couldn't be happier with his progress today.
And then...our life interrupts...as I was writing this, Liam received another respiratory treatment, which he is struggling through...The respiratory therapist said he is sounding wheezy...not good. Alarms keep going off for his sats and this is not a good end to the day. But, because of the first paragraph I wrote, I am not suprised...for the enemy, I'm sure, did not like what I had to say. We will not be defeated...despite his attempts. I hope the enemy is terrified, because JOY is a powerful thing. Just wanted to give the health report as it's happening here...
I have really been reflecting a lot today about how in awe of God I am and how He is working all around us because of our little boy. The outpouring of God's love through emails, texts, phone calls and messages has been truly amazing and we are deeply touched. That was one of my prayers that I have been speaking to God personally, for joy and to feel His love again. And I just wanted to say thanks to all of you, for praying for us. I have felt God's love in ways I could not have imagined. It is very humbling to be on the receiving end of love and support, but we are so blessed and grateful.
Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:6-7
We can find joy on this journey as a heart mom. At times it might seem distant but we find it and it is the most incredible joy we will ever find. We are able to appreciate it in a way that no one else can unless they have walked in our shoes.
ReplyDeleteAlways praying!!!